11:50 a.m., April 30, 2013


Being grownup is not all that it’s cracked up to be

“I can’t wait to grow up” are words I’ve heard many children say when they were young and unable to do what they wanted.

As I grow closer to being “grown up,” I realize how scary it is, and I take back every time I made that wish. Responsibility, work, bills, AHHHHHH! Take me back to naps and finger painting!

As this semester comes to an end, the reality of my growing up is becoming more and more apparent, and that both excites and terrifies me. Life gets ever more real as I investigate places to live and jobs to work.

When I graduated from high school, life didn’t change much. I stayed at home; I had a summer vacation, and I went to college in the fall. Granted, college had more to it and consumed more time, but it was still school; I still lived with my parents, and I didn’t have a job.

Changing scenery

This time, though, when I graduate, it will be different. I’m looking into moving out on my own, which means finding a job, an apartment and paying for groceries. A small part of me still doesn’t feel quite ready for all this, but I wonder if anyone is ever really 100 percent ready for it. Sure, people have done it before, and they give great advice, but I think, even with that, some things must be figured out as I go, and that’s a part of growing up: learning as you go through mistakes and life lessons.

I’ve been noticing things have been weirdly turning into “last times.”

For instance, this is my last issue of Wingspan as editor, and this is the last semester of college, and then I will be finished for a while as I try to earn some money and try out the “real world.”

Soon it will be the last night sleeping at the house I grew up in and the last time I drive away from it.

Growing up

Growing up is always a little scary, taking the first plunge into a pool. It’s one of those inevitable steps in life that one must face sooner than later, and I’m not even sure if a person is ever truly ready for it. Instead, it just happens, and I will deal with it and learn from it.

But, also, growing up isn’t all scary. A large part of it is incredibly thrilling. It’s a new adventure into the unknown where I can invent the rules as I go. I’m looking forward to a place all to myself, and I don’t know why, but I am particularly excited about picking out furniture.

The thought of “firsts” is more exciting and more prevalent in my mind than the “lasts.” Soon it will be the first place I buy to live in by myself and my first job in a bigger city and the first time I sleep in a house in a new place by myself and the first time I buy a couch or a table or a bed.

I know I want to move to a big city and live in a small apartment, and I’m excited I’m closer to that goal. Everyone has moments like this in life when he must step away from the comfortable and wander into the unknown. It makes us look back on how far we’ve come with no turning back.

Graduating and moving on with life, stepping into the work world and becoming independent—that’s life. We are not alone. Fear cannot stop us from living because although life can be scary, it is also so full of possibilities and opportunities, and that is what makes taking the plunge into adulthood and responsibility so worth it.

April 2013: Art gives life, culture to society

March 2013: Time to accept all differences

February 2013: Freedom fuels freelancing dreams

December 2012: TV series provide guide to survive any end-of-the-world scenario

November 2012: We don't need no musical education

October 2012: Horror season is horror for wallet

September 2012: Summer spent in Renaissance