Who ever wins we lose

The classic '80's sci-fi aliens go head to head

The time has come. The end is nigh, and an apocalypse is about to ensue that will envelop the world in a doom-filled cataclysm to shake the very foundation of existence.

In this forthcoming annihilation only two ‘80’s sci-fi movie monsters can come out alive: the alien from the “Alien” franchise and the Schwarzenegger-hunting predator from the “Predator” franchise. This battle cannot be decided on one statistic alone, so variables will be discussed to determine the ultimate species domination.

Offspring: Alien

Evidenced by both early “Predator” films, the population of this hideous creature was not exactly fruitful. In fact, only one actually hunts the protagonist whether it was The Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) or Murtaugh (Danny Glover). In the recent “Predator” movie, more than one made appearances, but their numbers were not great enough to pose a true threat in this competition.

The aliens from the classic “Alien” franchise have gained a lot of their notoriety because of the fact there are just so damn many of them hunting Sigourney Weaver and crew. It seemed countless times unsuspecting crew came across slimy eggs as they opened like a blossoming flower, only to unleash the hasty fury of Face Huggers and make wombs out of faces. Soon after, the haunting images of alien younglings burst from human chests, increasing their numbers. The ability to reproduce was a terrifying gift humanity will be unable to handle during the end of days.

Hunting Ability: Tie

Come on, it’s in their name. The “Predator” creatures breathe, chase and live the hunt. Setting up camp in trees, stalking their prey and making life a nightmare for former ‘80s’ action stars was what the creature lived for. As evidenced by all the films, no landscape or planet can they not adapt to and pick off one by one all and any unsuspecting victims. Its abilities proved that Danny Glover was indeed too old for this… .

Much like the Predator, hunting came as a talent to the “Alien” creatures. Ridley Scott utilized the dark and the creatures’ pitch-black color to hide the creatures throughout the ship and create an element of terror unique to the space monsters. Hunting was just in much their green, acid blood as the Predators, and, let’s face it, that chilling hissing noise as they emerge from the black is one reason audiences still love watching the movies today.

Technology: Predator Aside from their grizzly facial structure, the abundance of gadgets Predators have was what first came to mind. Like an alien version of James Bond, their gadgets ranged from protracting spears to invisibility cloaking (not so special now are you, Harry Potter?). Combined, these tools made the “Predator” creature what they were and posed as a serious threat to humans who think a 9mm can take on a laser canon. Despite the fact they were indeed alien life forms, there was nothing remotely technologically advantageous about the “Alien” monsters. Granted, they did have evolution on their side with a body structure—including those awesome mutant tongue things they had—to maim or kill their victims. But in terms of having plenty of gadgets and tools for assistance in gaining dominance over the Earth, they were drifting through space.

Resistance: Alien

The “Predator” creatures had fought against the likes of The Terminator and Adrien Brody and fought well. There was no doubt their tech and skills proved difficult for humans to overcome. But two things were stopping their overall victory: (1) Their aforementioned lack of numbers and (2) evidenced in “Alien vs. Predator,” the ability to feel for humans. The fact they can show compassion after bloodshed proved they could be overtaken or, possibly, willing to share the Earth. Though this may be a rare circumstance, it would bode well for humans to learn all they needed to stop them was a pretty girl.

Unlike the “Predator” creatures, the monsters that inhabited the “Alien” movies were singe-minded killing machines. Richard Dreyfuss said it best in “Jaws” when he was talking about sharks: “All it does is swim, eat and make more sharks.” The same goes for these creatures. All it cared about was eating and repopulating. Unless human beings have an abundance of mechanized body suits to fight back with, I’d say there’d be little chance of stopping them.

Winner: Alien

Though the “Predators” would put up a good fight, there were just too few of them to completely dominate in an apocalyptic scenario and could prove easy to kill once a weakness was found. The “Alien” creatures pose a much larger threat with some of the same advantages as the “Predator” aliens, but their numbers and evolutionary bonuses would be too overwhelming to encounter with a positive outcome. We should either start preparing for their arrival militarily or just hand over the keys now.